Follow doctor’s orders

3 07 2009

Funny email I got from a friend and wanted to share. Enjoy!

This is too funny! 
 

I love this Doctor 
 

Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is
this true? 

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… don’t
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer,
Take a nap. 
 
 

Q: Should I cut ?down on meat eat more fruits and vegetables? 

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn and what are these? Vegetables. ?So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?
Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily
allowance of vegetable products. 
 
 

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
 
A: ?No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms
up! 
 
 

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? 

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. 
 
 

Q: What are some of advantages of participating in a regular exercise
program?
A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No
Pain…Good!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU’RE ?NOT ?LISTENING!!! ….. Foods are fried these days in
vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more
vegetables be bad for you? 
 
 

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft ?around
the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a biggerstomach. ?
 
 

Q: Is chocolate bad for me? 

A: Are you crazy HELLO! Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It’s
the best feel-good food around! 
 
 

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
 
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. 
 
 

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? 

A: Hey!’Round is a shape! 
 
 

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and diets.
And remember: 

“Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to
skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ‘WOO HOO, What
a Ride, AND……
 
For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on
nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those
conflicting nutritional studies. 

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
 
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
 
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.



“Word” to the Wise.

1 07 2009

Penury-1. Extreme poverty; destitution. 2. Absence of resources; insufficiency.

  1. He was a cooper by trade, a native of Rio de Janeiro, where he would have died in penury and obscurity had he limited himself to the work of barrel-making.
    – Joaquim Maria Machado de Assis, The Posthumous Memoirs of Bras Cubas

Try and create a sentence using the “Word of the Day”.



Too Funny for Words

30 06 2009



Got stuck in elevator car “No.1″

29 06 2009

In my building there’s a laundry room and thats where I wash my clothes. Well on my way down to pick up my clothes, I entered elevator car ”No.1″ and I pushed the “B” button for basement. All of a sudden the elevator was making some noises and the screen quickly went from “15″ to “B” but I didnt feel the elevator move. I was like, “OMG I cant believe this is happening”. And I was also thinking how I left my cell phone in my apartment and I can’t tweet or call anyone about this experience.

So luckily I saw a “Call” button so I pushed it and someone answered. I told them my whereabouts and she said they will contact my building. After a couple of minutes, I hit the “Alarm” button and nothing happened. I wasnt sure if I was between floors or still on the 15th floor. Then I pushed the “Open door” button and the doors opened. I was afraid to see what was on the other side. And to my amazement I made it to the basement. I honestly didnt feel the elevator move while I was in it. I am so happy I made it out alive, and in one piece, and will never take elevator car ”No.1″ again.



Loving their looks

29 06 2009

Here’s Kanye and Amber Rose at the BET Music Awards yesterday. Amber is wearing an Alexander Wang dress and Kanye just looks good. Not sure who he’s wearing but he’s wearing it well.

Pics: ConcreteLoop



Wow Joe Jackson!

29 06 2009

This interview really rubbed me the wrong way. You would think when asked if he had any last words on his son,Michael Jackson’s, legacy, he would say something from the heart. But he just got his publicist to read a statement. Then he said that with his son’s death ”we lost the biggest superstar in the world”. This is your son. Janet Jackson’s short speech was more sincere.



“Word” to the Wise.

29 06 2009

Clandestine-Characterized by, done in, or executed with secrecy or concealment, esp. for purposes of subversion or deception.

  1. I was commanded by Paramount’s publicists — the Legion of Women With Clipboards — to come alone to an advance, clandestine screening of “Star Trek” a couple of weeks ago.
    – Hank Stuever, The Trouble With Quibbles, Washington Post, 11-May-09

Try and create a sentence using the “Word of the Day”.



It looks like its gonna be good

29 06 2009

Nas and Damian “Jr. Gong” Marley album collaboration for Africa

NAS & DAMIAN “JR GONG” MARLEY DISTANT RELATIVES preview from nabil elderkin on Vimeo.



Yes, I shaved my head and…

28 06 2009

I LOVE it! I shaved it this passed Tuesday and I wish I did it sooner. Better late than never. Anyways, I have been dying to shave my head for years but was hesitant because I didnt think I would look right. But then recently the thought has been on my mind, heavy, so I just went to the barber and did it. I’m happy with it and Andy loves it too.

My locs look terrible in these pics because it was time to retwist and these are the “after wash” pics. After I washed them I wasnt in the mood to retwist so that same day I shaved my head.

Here are some pics before/after pics….

picture-3451picture-3452picture-3453picture-3454

picture-3460picture-3461picture-3463picture-3476picture-3477

 

 

 

 

 

My face looks too “glittery” in the last two pics. LOL!



Sooooooooo Sad

26 06 2009

I woke up and turned on the televsion and saw many news channels discussing the life of Michael Jackson. Even MTV played his music and discussed his talents and why he was a LEGEND. Just watching his old music videos for Beat It, Thriller and Billie Jean made me sad. When the songs were playing I just turned up the tv and sang along.

I just have to look at the bright side and know he’s in a better place. He will be missed and will always be remembered as the King of Pop.

Here’s a video of Michael Jackson performing at the 2005 MTV Music Awards…